A poem about the aftermath of a broken soul connection 
that refuses to die in ones soul and spirit. 

Its been a while I have to confess
Its been so long I've felt so less
I loved you deeply. 
I loved with no farce
My love was real
I wish you did feel.

You broke my heart 
You tore my essence
You stamped on my being 
You left me  hysterically weeping.

I cried like my world had crashed
In one whimper. There was no backlash.
I nearly died. The juncture I did tend. 
The excruciation of the end. 


The pieces of my broken heart took time to gather. 
The scatterings. The hurt. 
The thought of you with another.

If love could be buried and forgotten 
I would have paid my all. 
I would have sold the devil my pining soul. 
Such was the mull. 
Such was the pull.
Despite the demise. 
I waited for your call. 

I wanted to be free. I wanted to so be. 
I walked around heavy hearted 
I waked around ill fated. 
I forgot what it felt to be playful 
I envied those that had been mated. 

I learnt but to smile from the quintessential forced smiling clown 
He too couldn't show his wounds to the crowd in town.
He too let out cries yet never made a sound.
We'd put on a great show all for others found.

I never knew living corpse existed
I never knew love was the ultimate fixated.
But I lived broken. I lived like I had died.
What is this world without you being mine
What will I do .Where will I pass my lifetime.

I stopped counting the day
After all what was there to say
There was no colour. There was no sublime.
I was being tested. 
I was being infested.
I sat in the confines 
I asked the gods why you were not mine. 

They call it the dark night of the soul
The place where relief is no more than noire foul
For me it was pure destroy and heartache
It was like losing all forsake. 

I pleaded to the high forces to make me free
I was imprisoned. I was outraged. 
The cage was suffocating me
I needed to break out free. 

Had I wronged another being?
Had I committed and was unable to be seeing
I don't know why the tunnel had no glimmer of light being. 

Then one day when I thought my tears had dried fry
One day when I thought I could no longer try. 
A hope on the horizon. A new day at dawn came by. 

I started to move forward 
Life started to become toward.
Was it a miracle or a victory 
I started healing
I started less feeling

I had anticipated this 
I had wished upon this 
Now it was happening 
What was this?
A new life after so much lagging.
It wasn't a hazy dream.
It was life again repacking. 

But 
You did it again 
You couldn't help it again
You couldn't bear to see me self contain

I cant even scream and shout 
I cant even verbalise and lout
The battle is within 
The contravention is within
You are still embedded within me
Your fragrance is there to be. 

Reality has never been kind.
You never returned. 
You never even tried.

No matter where I go 
No matter where I toe
You are there .
You remain there.

I fear I will take you with me to my grave
I feel it more so even though I show I am brave.

I am tormented 
I feel so fragmented
Please go away 
Please be on your way.